OK, so I was reading a blog posted by a friend who just arrived in Italy this past month, and I was hit with a strong sad but good feeling, and God revealed His purpose to me.
I have been thinking/praying: "God I don't know HOW to be a missionary. I wasn't born into a missionary family, and although I know how to 'evangelize', I don't know how to do it in a foreign field."
Well, then I read the blog, and saw my friends photos of her new apartment with flowers along her balcony, and God spoke to me.
I am to go and water flowers in Italy. I am to go an nurture, weed, feed, and give TLC to God's people (flowers). That's all. When the time comes, He will pluck them up, and put them in His vase on display in His home.
When I got that revelation, then it all just seems so simple. I can do that!!!!
I can give up all that He has blessed me with here, and go and do the same in another country! I CAN nurture/water/weed. I don't need to scream that Christ is coming on every street corner (although I will if I have to), I just need to water.
It doesn't matter if the flowers are daisies or dandelions, just give each some of the water God has provided, and they will flourish, each according to HIS will.